Check me out, I'll be the feisty lil' doll crusin around in the top-down red sports car just to make the boys stare.

I'm buying a new car. I'm excited/stressed out like you wouldn't believe.

I have no idea how to go about the whole process of wheeling and dealing. I don't think I could talk the car-shark-sons-of-bitches at the sales lot down to a price that doesn't include my first child. I'm a college student so I don't know if any banks are going to be willing to take my new credit for a loan. And please. Don't get me started about how clueless I am when it comes to mechanics... I only passed auto shop because my teacher saw how hard I tried (and failed).

Everyone is all "blablabla you need a sensible student car," but currently my eye is on the two door red convertible. They say that the convertible is too flashy for me (too flashy for me?) and a safety hazard because some psycho-rapist could jump into my car while I'm at a stop light, hold me at gun point, and take all my money without one person calling the police. /nod. Yep. That's how it'd happen.

But as of late, I'm still on my self-endulgence kick soooo....

I'll post pictures when I buy the car. : )

Is that a disturbing pattern I see developing?

So lately, every time I have a bad day for whatever the reason *cough*crazybitchesIworkwith*cough* my remedy has been to go out and blow money like hell.

This afternoon, while watching the pretty, probably my age sales girl ring up my $80 silk purse and new sunglasses (the price of which we will not discuss, especially considering they are almost identical to the pair I bought last month...) I had a sudden panic attack.

"Oh my God! What if I'm becoming one of those people who bases self worth on possessions, or worse! An accessory-obsessed, small dog-carrying blond that everyone hates because I'm that annoying and it's just that damn easy!...............Quickly! I must stop her from swiping that card!..............Gosh, but I really do like that purse..."

So, call me weak. But hear me out first! This is why I've decided I purchase Stuff to make myself feel better:
Don't get me wrong, 'cause I like my job, but it's a damned headache and recently the women I work with have decided that I should be the object of their petty bitchery.
Unfortunately money doesn't grow on trees and college isn't free. I'm proud to say that my cash doesn't come from Mommy and Daddy's bank account.
No! I earn my paycheck every day when I walk into work, take the stares of co-workers on Haterade, listen to the crazies that are inevitable when working in a courthouse, stay on top of pulling/putting up hundreds of files for my (mostly) lovely abstracters, and somehow still find time to jazz with Mary about her dates and my ever-absent boyfriend.

I'm proud of what I do at my job because it is a good job! It's not a job at a tanning salon, or a hardware store, or a pizza joint (but, okay. My job at the pizza joint was tiiight and should I ever happen into a few million or so, I'd totally buy the place and work there just for the fun of it :D ).

I like the fact that I'm able to pay all my bills, put money in the bank, and still have cash to blow on whatever I want just because I want to. I don't care if that sounds irresponsible.

The point is that my purchasing *insert needless, expensive item here* symbolizes not only my ability to release stress in a positive, comfort-food-style way, but also the fact that I am becoming stronger as a person to be able to handle co-workers and a serious job while retaining sanity and goals of reaching the next step in what I want for my life.

Thus, Monday I shall brave the sneers, new purse on shoulder, and a "Fuck you, have a nice day," smile, all the while knowing that this is just another learning experience to be shared on BlogSpot... And that not one of them could pull of my rockstar shades. :D