Dear Baby In Nicki's Tummy...

Dear Baby In Nicki's Tummy...
First I would like to congratulate you on being conceived by one of my best friends and thus receiving damn-near-perfect DNA. I can only hope that you are a girl, as I love the girl's name your parents have picked out. I also pray that you are as much of a smart ass and a good friend to someone as your mother was to me... If and when you ever decide you may need to escape your parents during your teenage years, you are welcome in advance to hide-out at my place. I promise to ease your mind by telling you all the marvelous ways your mommy-dearest gave everyone in her vicinity (including myself) premature white hair *cough*wedding*cough*.

And Dear Nicki and Michael...
Congratulations on conceiving the baby in Nicki's tummy by mixing your damn-near-perfect DNA. I can only hope you have a girl who is just like Nicki, in order to get you both back for the premature white hair you gave almost everyone in your vicinity with your wedding. *grins* I am so excited and happy for you both. I wish I could be there to see the squished up little bundle of joy when *crosses fingers* she is born. I know you will make wonderful parents and a loving family for your child and each other. That said. This is for Nicki courtesy of BreastFeeding.com.

Affectionately Yours,
Beens.

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain.""I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

*grins*